A New Meaning
by Piggie
Summary: short sum; Snape has been found out as a spy and Hermione has left hogwarts and then discovers a secret! Tragedy strikes and she has to move back to Hogwarts. Will the Pair find 'A New Meaning' together?
1. Prologue

_This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

**Prologue**

Severus knew that tonight was the night it would all come crashing around him; he was completely unprepared for the revel that night. He hadn't had time to tame his emotions, as it had been one thing after another this day.

They stood there in a clearing inside a dark forest somewhere, he assumed, in the heart of England. The others were apparating into their positions with great 'cracks' and loud 'pops' every few minutes and it was not helping to control his nerves.

He couldn't believe what he had done that evening, the shame he felt was suffocating his control.

An image flashed before his eyes of a young girl's broken body on the floor of his lab, her legs sprawled and her head turned to one side, but it was the robes she was wearing, the Gryffindor uniform of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, that made him balk again.

Lucius eyed him wearily, clearly sensing something was amiss. Severus hastened to correct his outward stance, legs apart slightly, arms casually at his side. He tipped his head to Lucius Malfoy who quickly turned away again.

Something was definitely wrong. Lucius would never dream of not returning a nod of acknowledgement, not from a Death Eater Brother during a Revel. His heart constricted and fear arose again. _Lucius knew! The Dark Lord knew! Lucius had been the one in the hallway. _It had been he who had witnessed the consequences, had seen him holding the blasted Gryffindor girl in his arms and… Crying of all things. He would have tried to hex the bastard into the oblivion if he wasn't out numbered twenty to one! Oh how he want to tear his face off.

Her image swam before his eyes, her ample chest and voluptuous lips had enticed him, and before he could think twice he was doing as she asked, as she begged him to, all against his own better judgement.

They were kissing, it was beautiful, magical, and then it was more. She wasn't stopping at the kiss as she had promised, she was unbuttoning his robes, she wanted him, and he could feel her lust boiling in her body. He tried to stop it at first, he really had tried, but her tongue had found his ear and she whispered 'take me I'm yours' into his ear, and that was it. He took her roughly and quickly and delighted in her body, until he lifted his head as he came and saw her eyes were vacant and glassy. He realised that her voice had been slurred and fuzzy. He had been too blinded by passion, by his love for the young girl that he hadn't noticed that she had been under_ Imperious._ He had just raped his student, and he wept; he cried for her innocence taken from her, cried for the rape of her body but also of her mind and she would remember everything.

There had been a sound from the doorway of the classroom and Severus was up and out the door like a shot, but he hadn't been quick enough. All he had seen before his left arm seared in pain as the dark mark branded him again, was a shadowy figure ascending the stairs to the entrance hall. He had quickly written a note to the Headmaster and grabbed his owl roughly, forcing the letter upon the bird before throwing it out of the high windows. One, if not both, of his roles would end tonight.

He gulped as the dark lord appeared. He hoped with all that was left of his small black heart that tonight's meeting would be quick.

The meeting began quickly; all missions had gone very well and he was relieved that he would be back within the next half an hour. A new record he sighed.

Then the dark lord looked at him, his snake like eyes burning into his raven orbs, penetrating Severus' soul. He cursed himself for his lack of concentration. The dark lord stood upright and made a step towards Severus, without a thought Severus stepped back. The group gasped and muttered at the action. Without another thought, he turned and ran, dodging a number of hexes Lord Voldemort threw at him.

'Don't just stand here - get him, and get him alive! I want the pleasure of torturing the snake!'

And so the chase had begun. Severus wove his way through the trees and jumped over the overgrowth. The low branches caught his face and stung his skin. He could hear his robes ripping and tearing as he wrenched himself through the dark shadows of the pressing woods. He could hear them behind him, crying through the trees, screaming for his blood; each of them wanting the prize and the glory.

Suddenly his ankle caught and he fell through the air, his hands splaying and his body hitting the ground with a thunk. He groaned as he shook his head free of the pain and twisted to see what had grabbed at him. He turned and looked into a pair of startling blue eyes, eyes that belonged to one of his most favoured pupils, the child he wished was his own; Draco Malfoy.

'Draco!' Severus whispered, 'What on earth are you doing here? I thought you were at the Revel tonight, I saw you there.' The younger wizard looked around quickly.

'No,' the blue eyed boy whispered back, 'I found out what was planned and I had to make alternative arrangements, a 'friend' took my place.' He looked around anxiously again. Without warning a dark figure dropped upon them, the silver mask catching in the moonlight as it looked at each of them before dropping to their level. 'About time,' Draco muttered before returning his attention back to his professor. 'This is a portkey,' he stated as he held up the leaf, 'it will take you right to the Headmasters office. Take it now,' he hissed as the cries of the bloodthirsty brood grew closer. Severus grabbed at it and waited. Nothing happened.

'We're going together,' whispered a heated voice of the strange Death Eater. 'Here's your mask, Draco,' as he removed the mask he too touched the leaf. The familiar pull at his navel grabbed Severus as he lunged forward through space and time and landed gracelessly on the floor outside of the Headmaster's office, his eyes wincing shut at the sudden change in lighting. When he opened them again, the man in the robes was crouched before him, worry in his vibrant green eyes. Severus pulled back when he saw that the Death Eater was in fact, Harry Potter.

* * *

A/N - Thank you to Claudia who Beta'd this chapter for me. I really appreciate your help! 


	2. Moving On

_This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

Chapter 1 – Moving On

Draco bowed before his father, it wasn't the usual way to greet the head of the family, but tonight the Dark Lord had summoned him to a private meeting and Lucius was the main attendee. He remained silent as his father began to prattle on about his own allegiance and pride in serving the Dark Lord. Draco stifled a yawn and began to prepare his mind to block any probing that might be attempted by Voldemort.

He had only been practicing for a number of months since he took the Dark Mark – he rued that day but knew that it was something he had to do, not because he felt the call to the Dark Arts like many others, but because it was needed for the greater good.

'-although I had a tip off you could certainly imagine my surprise when I saw the Mudblood Granger wrapped in your 'Uncles' arms, her mouth being ravaged by his,' The older Malfoy began to pace the floor in front of Draco as he snapped to attention.

'I thought that I'd give him a little gift. You could smell her arousal from ten feet; it was obvious she was fighting against her conscious as to what she wanted. So I thought I'd help her along a bit…' He trailed off as he saw his son's rapt attention, but there was also something else, it fitted his face briefly before it turned emotionless again.

Before his father could continue Draco spoke, it could be a costly mistake on his part, but he was tired of hearing the same things over again. 'Forgive me father, for speaking out of turn,' his father looked stunned and turned to the Dark Lord, surprised to find curiosity on the Serpentine face. Draco, noticing the curiosity himself continued his intrusion. 'But I heard you tell me this the same night it happened, I have limited time from Hogwarts before Dumble-_bore_ notices my absence.' He turned to face the Dark Lord, suppressing his feelings towards the monster. 'How can I assist you this evening, sire?'

Voldemort looked the younger Malfoy over, he liked him, he was direct and uncomplicated – the exact opposite of his father. Lucius could be boring with his elaborate plots and flourish filled speeches, take tonight for example. He had been secretly pleased when the younger wizard had piped up; he too had wanted to tell Lucius to get on with it. Nevertheless, Lucius had done well; had provided a great service and he wanted to keep the Malfoy's loyalty to the cause, so he indulged his love of 'hamming' things up.

'Yes,' He stood and approached the teenage Death Eater, 'there is something I need you to complete, I want you to give a present to our little Gryffindor, something to help her… sleep.' He grinned and a sharp tongue licked his lips as he produced a small vial from his robes. 'This is the _Eternal Sleeping Draught_; there is no cure, as you know. This,' he held the vial up to the dim light; the liquid was orange and could easily be disguised in pumpkin juice, 'will be the nail in the coffin of the leach that spied on us for the past three years; his beloved, will never awaken and will never die. She won't be ravaged by the effects of time…' he trailed off as he felt the boys' keenness. He knew that the boy wanted the bottle and to get out of here to complete his task. He wasn't impatient, he was eager to please – a quality so few of the other, more experienced Death Eaters truly had any more. He smiled and handed the vial to the young wizard. 'It will also wreak havoc with that godforsaken Potter! Go, we don't want you're headmaster waiting for you.'

Draco all but snatched the vial from Voldemort's hand before bowing deeply to him. The Dark Lord stepped back to his seat, and nodded at the boy for him to leave. With a 'pop', he was gone.

'Lucius,'

'Yes my lord?'

'Why can't you be more liked your son?'

* * *

_She didn't remember anything, Severus thought with wonder. He really did Obliviate her! _The young Gryffindor laughed at something her professor said and tossed her hair back; she turned and caught his eye, a flicker of pain crossing them. However, the pain was not due to his raping of her, but more of disappointment and pity at him and his situation. He grumbled and moved his mash potatoes around his plate grumpily. It had been three weeks since he had been found out and reduced to living the life of a 'normal' professor.

He grunted and pushed his plate back. It was so unfair. He had always had a role beyond that of normalcy; he didn't even know what the word normalcy meant. _I do, it means boring, _his mind spat. He was doomed to a fate that he had seen another go through, someone who he had taunted due to the lack of life he had. _Karma,_ he frowned at his meal, wishing that the potatoes would come alive and eat him. _What goes around comes around. _

He had always hated Sirius Black, well no, actually, he hadn't and he cursed again at the memory of two little dark haired boys causing mischief around the House of Black. He remembered how he had loved that house and wished it were his; it had been full of dark magical stuff that could help him cause trouble. He had loved to cause trouble, but the trouble had started to rule him by the time he had come to Hogwarts. By this time, he and Sirius barely spoke and after just a few months into their first year they bitterly hated each other, Sirius was always the more confident of the two, and threw himself into the social side of the school. Severus had simply retreated into his world of trouble causing with his fellow Slytherin's only emerging into the spotlight through his role as a beater on the Quidditch team. By the time the Order was restored his hatred for his old friend was too much for him and he couldn't help but be delighted that it was now his turn to shine whilst Black was reduced to hiding away.

His life had come full circle and without a word to anyone he got up and beat a hasty retreat from the Great Hall, feeling a pair of eyes watching his every step until the door closed behind him.

* * *

'I'm sorry; I don't think I quite understand what you're telling me.' Hermione Granger laughed nervously. 'I _thought_ you said that I had to leave?'

'I did. I'm really sorry Granger, but if you don't then either my own cover is blown or I really will have to administer the Eternal Sleeping Draught.' Draco ran his hand through his thick blond locks. 'For crying out loud, Granger, think this one through! If you're gone, then I can't get you. If you're here we either have no spy or you sleep for eternity, a cure has_ never_ been found – even Snape has been stumped by it.' For a split second he was sure he saw a flicker of pain flash across her face, but it was replaced by anger all too quickly for him to be sure.

'This_ isn't _fair!' she said quietly, anger rumbling through her. 'I worked _bloody_ hard for that apprenticeship and now you're telling me that I've got to go and hide in the Muggle World? I don't believe this!' She kicked the wall nearest to her in frustration and turned to face him eyes blazing. 'No, I won't run out on the world I love, I'll take the damned potion.'

'What a completely stupid idea, I would have expected a more intelligent and logical answer from you,' a deep voice drawled behind her. She spun around and came face to chest with Severus Snape. 'You will _not_ take that potion; you will remove yourself from this school and the world of magic, until it is safe again.' His dark eyes bore into her own, 'Do you hear me Miss Granger? There is nothing here for you except darkness and depression.'

Her breath caught in her throat. 'You really are a monster,' her lower lip wobbled.

'It's taken you this long to notice?' he whipped around and stalked away calling back without looking. 'Remove yourself from this school Miss Granger.

Draco watched the scene before him with interest. He knew what had happened in the potions lab that night; his father had revelled in telling him over and over again.

As the dark professor turned down another corridor Hermione turned back to face the blond and snatched the papers that held her new life from his hands. 'I'll leave first thing.'

As Draco watched the curly haired Gryffindor walk away from him, he felt another part of him die. Suddenly he felt an affinity with his brooding professor.

* * *

She packed quickly and quietly and looked around the room she had treasured for the past nine months. She had worked hard over the past seven years for her future. She had mastered magic far beyond her age and had impressed two of the professors so much that they had fought for her to take on the rare opportunity of an apprenticeship with them. Now all that was gone

She sunk onto her bed sobs escaping her small frame. Her shoulders shook as the pressure of the last three weeks finally pulled her down. First she had been dumped, then lost her apprenticeship and now her whole future was being whipped away.

Her detention with Snape three weeks ago had been confusing at the very least. She remembered getting to his door and then, as if part of her memory was missing, she was back at her rooms in tears. She was disorientated, lost and hurt in her most intimate of places. She felt an ache deep in her chest as if she knew she was missing something, as if she knew something wasn't right. She spun on her heel, as she was about to open the door and ran back towards the dungeons.  
She had pounded furiously on the potions lab door, and had caused such a commotion with her begging and pleading for the Potions Master to open up, that the Slytherin Common room opened and a dozen heads peaked out.

Suddenly they all disappeared back inside as the door flew open and a very irate Snape stood in its frame. Before she could utter a syllable she was yanked inside and the door slammed shut.

Before she knew what was happening she was thrown back against the door, her teeth clipping her tongue as her head hit the solid oak.

'I told you that I didn't want to see you again here, unless it was for classes!' the baritone voice of her professor boomed. 'What the hell do you think you're playing at?'

'I…' she faulted, 'I don't remember… what are you talking about?'

'I will not go through this again, Miss Granger,' he hissed her name, 'it's over.' He crossed his arms over his chest as he surveyed her. She couldn't look away from his ferocious stare, even as her hand crept into her hair to rub at the sore spot where her head had connected with the wood. She pulled her hand away and he spat out a curse, there was blood covering her fingers.

His eyes softened and he took her arm gently this time and led her to a seat.

'Hermione,' he murmured, 'I thought that we had gone through all this? We can't be together anymore,'

'No,' she whispered as she sat down on the stool and he lifted her hair to see the damage, 'it can't be… we can't be… I don't remember, I honestly don't remember.'

He whispered an incantation and pressed his wand to her head, which instantly became free of the pain that had started to build into a throb and then moved and sat across from her.

'Hermione, I have been found out. Don't you remember anything?' She gasped and shook her head. He had been found out and yet he was still alive? It was a miracle. She wanted to throw her arms around him and comfort him. Sure he was now free of the burden of risking his life, but she knew that he would now be confined to a life here in the walls of Hogwarts until the Dark Lord was defeated, that he would feel like a caged animal. Her mind instantly flashed back to Sirius Black and how he had reacted, drawing into himself, becoming frustrated and isolated. How he had… died. A squeak escaped her lips and she flung herself into his arms.

'It will be okay,' she whispered as she clung desperately to him, 'we will work something out, please promise me you won't do anything stupid to help, promise me you will remain safely here.' She pulled back and looked at him.

'Hermione,' he began, trying to untangle himself from the scared waif before him. 'Please,'

'No, Severus, I beg you please, give me your word.'

'Only if you promise to leave me and never come back.' He flatly stated.

'What?' she recoiled in horror. 'Why? Why would I do that?

'Because, they have found out that I am a spy, and I don't want them to find out that I care for you,' he ran a finger longingly down her face. 'I don't want you to become an ever more obvious target. I need you safe.'

'But I love you!' she exclaimed. 'Why would I leave?'

He sighed. 'If you love me, leave me. I am asking you to do this for me, Hermione, I am asking you to save yourself. We have been through this already.'

Gulping down a fresh wave of tears, she demanded her promise again. 'Only if you promise to stay away from me,' he affirmed again. For a moment he looked panicked, but it was quickly masked again.

'If I stay away until the war is over, will you remain here, safely housed, so that I don't have to mourn your death? I know you Severus; I know what you live for,' He looked away at her words. 'I will fight this war, but I don't want to have to worry about you coming to save me or anyone else out of your desperation to do something. That is the only way I promise to walk away from you – just until the war is over mind.'

'You won't come back, and because of that I give you my word.'

'Oh I'll be back, Severus, I will return some day; that I_ will_ promise.' And with those words she reached over and kissed him. He kissed back for a few moments before he gently pushed her back and rose. She took her cue and moved to the door. When it opened she turned to face him, tears shimmering in her eyes.

'I trust that this won't happen again,' he began to close the door on her, 'Good night, Miss Granger,'

'Goodnight Professor.'

Hermione threw herself on to her pillows on her giant bed, sobbing into them freely. The man she had worked so closely to these past nine months had become a close friend and then…. Well, lover couldn't be used, as they had never actually made love, and boyfriend was certainly out of the question, Severus Snape could never be called a boyfriend. She nearly giggled at the notion before the pain swept through her again. They had become companions, they had began to… no courting isn't right either. She rolled onto her back, _we talked and kissed, debated, and cuddled, _another laugh started on her lips before tears formed again, both reactions from the image of the dreaded potions master actually cuddling.

Closing her eyes and letting out a long tired breath, she slowly fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Severus paced his chambers like a caged dog; he couldn't believe what he had over heard Draco telling her. He was to entice her to drink the _Eternal Sleep Draught_, which would cause her to sleep eternally, perfectly preserved, never aging, never dying and never waking. He shivered at the thought of watching her sleep every day of his miserable life and it had taken all this strength to walk over and tell her to go.

The only thing that had been keeping him going these past three weeks was that she would be remaining here, safely enclosed in the walls of Hogwarts with him. That he would still at least see her during meals and staff meetings and at brief intervals during patrols of the grounds. Now, there would be none of those brief encounters. Not that he deserved to see her anyway, not after what he had done.

He still remembered the event clear as if it had been just five minutes ago.

She had been serving another 'detention' – their excuse for her to work with him – when she had tripped on a stool leg and stumbled into him. His eyes had flashed as her body pressed against his and she looked up at him, a grateful smile playing on her lips. Those damned kissable lips. And that's just what he had done, kissed her right there in the classroom, with no wards in place – which had been his downfall. Someone had seen them, had watched them and played with them. He had raped her and then left her alone. When he had returned after the revel, he had been in shock. He had been found out, Harry had taken Draco's place in the revel and survived, they had both saved him and he no longer had any meaning in his dreary existence. He couldn't spy, he couldn't hate Potter and he could no longer have the love of the women he had… _what was the right word to use? _Courted certainly didn't fit, and he definitely hadn't woed her. _Well whatever it was, I lost her._

He had stumbled into the Headmaster's office, scratched, torn, bruised and exhausted – both mentally and physically – and found his beloved, softly sobbing in the biggest armchair he had ever seen. The Headmaster looked soulfully up at him and beckoned him to her.

'Hermione, he's here now,' he said softly as he walked over. He froze in mid-step realising that she actually wanted to face him. 'Severus, she has been most anxious; come here.' So he had continued, until he was before her, but she couldn't look up at him. He watched her for a few moments before he had to remove his gaze. He didn't deserve to see her beauty.

Albus rose from his crouched position, and pushed him down to her level. He paled and shook, but he slowly descended. Harry had watched in shocked silence, until the headmaster had ushered him outside asking him to accompany an aging gentleman on a walk.

When he was at her level, he tipped his fingers under her chin to bring her eyes to his. He had felt sickened at doing this small action that just that day had been touching, but now felt torturous, and not just for him he imagined. He knew that she would see him as a monster. When their eyes met, however, she flung herself into his arms.

'It wasn't your fault, you didn't know!' she sobbed into the crook of his neck. 'I don't blame you, I truly don't.' He had wanted to push her away and run. How could she not, he should have known, he should have protected her. Gently he pushed her away so that he could look at her.

'Hermione-' he started before she pushed her finger against his lips.

'No, Severus, don't you dare!' She commanded in a broken whisper. 'I don't need to forgive you, it was that bastard Lucius! I will kill him…' she took a breath. 'I need you to do something for me...'

'Anything, beloved, anything.' He whispered.

'I need to forget this, not because it was you, but because I remember him in my head all the time. He was commanding me and laughing at me… and I couldn't shake him off, he was too powerful, and he kept calling me things and using vile language and… and…' she hiccupped as he pressed his forehead against hers, his hands in her hair. Tears pushed against his closed eyelids and tumbled down his cheeks. 'I don't want to remember my first time when it wasn't really me there. I'm so, so sorry!' she wailed.

'Hermione, I can't do it, I'm not allowed. However, I will request the Headmaster to perform this appeal.' He kissed her forehead. 'I am so sorry, child, I am so sorry for causing you pain,' his lips traced to her cheeks, kissing away her tears as she whimpered. 'I will never again hurt you; I can never forgive myself for not protecting you.' She made to speak, but his lips upon her own hushed her words and stole them away.

The kiss was unbearably tender and salty from their mixed tears, it was a kiss goodbye and she knew that he was to leave her. She clung to him, trying to make the moment last, knowing that she wouldn't remember this but desperately wishing that she could. A whimper escaped from her and he pulled back, fear in his eyes.

'I'm sorry,' he cried brokenly.

'You did nothing wrong, you thought I wanted it. And I did. I truly did, I kept telling you that, I kept-' she blinked and finally saw the scratches on his face. 'What happened to you?' and he told her the tale of his evening from beginning until end, knowing that this would be the only time the full story would befall her delicate, perfect ears.

When Albus returned an hour later, the two where asleep on the gigantic armchair that dominated his office that night, Hermione lovingly embraced in the arms of her love, as Severus sat beneath her, his head resting on hers. Both obviously exhausted from the anguish they had endured that evening. He wished that phoenix tears would mend broken hearts, as he knew her decision already; she had already made the request before Severus had returned.

Severus threw himself back into his chair and stared at the dying embers of the fire that had burned earlier; he grumbled to himself something about the unfairness of the fates and his damned life. When she had come to him after the Obliviation, confused and disturbed – as he knew she would – he had tried to be harsh with her, but when he had seen the blood on her hand, his resolve had crumbled, there was only so much he could take in one night. At least, she had some understanding of why she was to leave, although she still had no explanation of why she had forgotten their 'fight' from earlier that night.

Tomorrow she would be gone, and he would never see her again. His heart broke once more, and he buried his head in his hands as he allowed himself to weep. He had lost his love and himself all in less than a month, and he had given his word to stay here safely and he would oblige it. His word was all he had left. That and the eternal idiot spawn that continued to flow through this school. He sneered into his hands and took in a shaky breath. He stood and turned towards his bedroom, he couldn't face anymore tonight. Reaching for his bedside bottle of dreamless sleep potion, he sat on the bed and looked at the ground pensively. He wondered, for the thousandth time if he should have tried to talk her out of the Obliviation just once. Just once might have been enough. He shook the thought as he slugged back a shot of the sickenly sweet liquid; it wasn't his right to ask.

* * *

Hermione awoke the next morning with an aching head from her sobbing the night before. The sun that usually streamed through her window when she rose only dribbled in; it was much earlier than her usual awakening. The sky loomed darkly as she looked to it, searching for help and strength to complete the task she needed. She wouldn't be able to have any contact with her previous life, her friends and family were to be left behind.

She dressed quickly and quietly, knowing that she didn't have long to make her escape. _Escape or flee? _She thought bitterly as she picked up her bags and opened her door. She turned and took one last mournful look around her rooms, her eyes landing on the Head Girl badge she had neatly placed on her bedside table that held the letter she had written, firmly in place.

Stepping out into the corridor and closing the door behind, she took a deep breath and walked away from the life she once knew.

* * *

He had missed her. He had wanted to catch her before she left and confess everything to her, beg her to stay and not leave him. He would protect her and watch over her and damn the Malfoy boy!

He shook his head as he thought of Draco being turned over to the Dark Lord as a traitor. Although the child was brilliant, he wasn't yet fully versed in the Dark Arts or protection spells. His new assignment was to teach Draco all that he could. It was his new meaning in life. It was all he had left.

* * *

A/N: Again Thanks to Claudia who beta'd this chapter for me! She's a star!

Your reviews are all so much appreciated! I read everyone! Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Someone asked if I had left Ashwinder - rest assured, as soon as chapter 8 is back from Claudia, I will be submitted to Ashwinder! I could never leave - it is my home now, oh and the Admins there have the best job in the world!


	3. A New Life

_This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

Chapter 2 – A New Life

For two months, Hermione had been living the life of Lucy Troy; a plain simple Muggle, trying to earn a living in the cruel hard world of Muggle-life. She had moved to Liverpool when she had fled; London was too obvious and Edinburgh or Glasgow were too close for comfort. She had briefly considered running to South Wales where she had holidayed a number of times as a child, until the advert for a trainee librarian in a discarded _Liverpool Echo_ had caught her eye. She had gotten off the train in Lime Street and walked to the Central Library with her Muggle 'Qualifications' in hand.

_GCSE's and A-levels? _She remembered something about them from what her parents had used to tell her when they wanted her to be a dentist, like them. She had a number of certificates with A's on them and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance, _Git,_ she thought,_ I could have done a lot better than Acceptable, Malfoy! _She had looked through the papers a number of times on the train journey from Glasgow to Manchester and then on to Liverpool. As well as ten GCSE's and four A-Level's she had an excellent reference from a Mr M. Draco, a teacher at her 'previous' school, an explanation of her life before she left school – _as if I'm following that drivel!_ – and another reference from a Mr. H. Potter, her previous employer at Defensive Attack Sports Wear – _guys, I swear I'm gonna hex you both… if I ever get to see you again._

She had flown through the interview process; by that afternoon, she had a job and by the evening, she had a house share with another young girl who also worked at the library.

The first few weeks were hard on Hermione. Since she had turned seventeen, she had been free to use magic whenever in the Muggle world and had travelled by apparition. Now she was forced to cook and clean like everyone else, and just like everyone else she had to use public transport. She despised public transport. It was unreliable and unkempt; her bus to work was always over crowded and stank of stale vomit and sweat. She hated Muggle life now and was praying for the day when she would see the witches and wizards she saw daily throughout the city dancing with glee and owls flying all over with glad tidings and joy. She hoped that that day would be soon; she missed her wand, which was tucked away safely in its box in her room. As she waited in line to board her bus that morning, she noticed a couple of oddly dressed people. She smiled wistfully knowing who they were, she wished she could go and converse with them, ask them what was happening with the War, but she didn't dare. If anyone knew where she was, it would be her end.

Her bus ride that day was frustrating as usual, no one offered her a seat, teenagers on their way to school smoked and swore, and she was pushed and knocked one way and then the other as people moved off and on the dirty machine. She ground her teeth – something she never did – as the contraption finally pulled up to her stop. She jumped off with relief and took in a deep breath. The fumes from the bus caught her nose as it spluttered and drove off. She coughed violently and her stomach lurched. She hadn't felt well at all the past couple of days and was grateful when she got a smile from the busy receptionist as she took a call, motioning that she would just be a moment. Finally, the call ended and Hermione was greeted with a warm and friendly 'how can I help?'

'I'm here to see Dr Carrado,' she smiled back at the woman behind the glass. 'Lucy Troy, nine am.'

'If you could just take a seat the doctor will be with you shortly.'

Nodding her thanks she walked into the waiting room and picked a chair as close to the corner as possible, away from the majority of the other women. Her hormones had been swinging of late and today she was in a hideous mood – although the bus ride hadn't helped.

Finally, after twenty minutes of waiting, her name was called and she was whisked inside a cheerful yellow room.

'Right, Miss Troy, if you could just pop behind the screen, change into the gown and hop on the bed, thanks.' The doctor cooed sweetly. Hermione did as she was instructed and nestled back against the cool, uninviting bed. The doctor came back and picked up what looked like a funny shaped microphone and smeared it with a clear gel. 'Okay, this might be a little cold,' she smiled as she placed it on the exposed midriff from the gown Hermione wore. Hermione inhaled sharply. _A bit cold! My arse! _She bit her lip, as the cold made her stomach quiver. Suddenly a noise started from the machine next to her.

'What's that?' she enquired looking at the machine that was connected to the apparatus roaming over her stomach.

'That's the heart beat,' the doctor smiled. 'Its very strong, that's a good sign.'

'No, I meant what's _that?'_ this time she pointed to the screen where a blurred black and white mass appeared.

'_That_, Miss Troy, is your baby.'

* * *

She had walked to work from the doctors, it was cold and wet, but she fought against the wind and rain, wrapping her coat tightly around her and bringing her umbrella closer to her head. Although she had known for a couple of weeks, she still couldn't believe that she was pregnant – three months pregnant, the doctor had advised her. She had to have been Obliviated, or some other form of memory charm had been placed on her and the first name she thought of had been Severus Snape. There was only one point in time that she didn't remember over the last three months and that was the night he had been found out as a spy. She didn't recall any details of their 'original' break up, or the rest of the evening that the 'detention' had taken – four or five hours in total. Although she was worried that she had memories missing, the more perplexing point on her mind was the exact identity of the father of the child. She was a logical person so she would do the logical thing – she was going to find out.

The following Saturday Hermione jumped on a rather nice train to Newport in Devon before catching a lovely airy village bus to Lamerton, where she would have to make the rest of the journey on foot. She began climbing a familiar hill and rested at the top, taking a deep drink of the water she had remembered to bring. She looked around at the beautiful fresh countryside that seemed to reach into the eternities. If it hadn't been for the fact that there were wizarding families in the area who had children she knew, she would have had no hesitation in moving to the area when she had left and certainly none when she had heard of her pregnancy. However, with the Death Eaters on the look out for her she didn't want to run the risk of placing anyone she knew in danger. She refused to perform even the slightest magic in the fear that they would trace it and find her, hence her long and exhausting trip.

After she felt rested and refreshed she merrily continued on her way, following a recognised pathway she ambled carefree through a small wood, across a brook and looked lovingly at the beautiful house before her. She had never been so happy to see The Burrow and longed to venture inside and say hello to everyone, sample Molly's cooking and joke with Ron. However, she couldn't. She was here to see one person and one person only; the others would never even know that she had been here.

She knew that on Saturday afternoons, just after lunch, Mr. Weasley would potter about in his garage playing with his Muggle artefacts; she had brought him a wind up mouse toy that would keep him entertained for days as he watched its behaviour and then pulled it apart to see how it worked. She knew that it was almost a bribe, but she had to do this, she had to know the answers.

Creeping around the edge of the property she found herself at the backdoor of the garage and knocked lightly. After much noise and scrapping a rather dirty looking red head opened the door and was shocked to see a fresh faced, bushy haired Hermione smiling at him.

'Good Grief!' he exclaimed. 'Hermione Granger as I live and breathe, what on this green earth are you doing here? More importantly, where have you been?'

'Hello Mr. Weasley,' she smiled at him, she hadn't heard her own name in over two months. 'May I come inside?'

'Inside this great dirty place? No, no, come over the house,' he started to step outside the door but she placed her hands on his chest, pushed him back in to the dim garage, and closed the door behind her.

'No Mr. Weasley, I can't.' she stared at him soberly. 'I'm afraid that if I do I'll never leave, and then you'll all be in great danger. I fear that I may have already done that, but I had to come and see you. I need your help.' Mr. Weasley looked her over. There was something different about her that much was sure. It took him a number of minutes before he realised what it was.

'-she would just want to keep me here and I can't-'

'Good grief!' he interrupted Hermione's ramblings, 'You're pregnant!' Hermione paled and starred at him open mouthed. 'I'd know a pregnant woman from fifty feet. How… who is… when did…' he stumbled before quietening. Hermione bowed her head so that he couldn't see her face as she pulled herself together. This was not going as she had planned. 'This is why you left?' He finally asked.

'No,' she managed before taking in a deep cleansing breath and facing him again. 'Perhaps we should sit down.' He led her to a stool and helped her take the seat before pulling one up for himself. Slowly she began her tale that led her to this point; remembering to leave out where she had ran to and what she was actually doing. She couldn't leave him with that information.

'So will you help me?' she finished quietly.

'Hermione,' he started, pausing to find the right words, it was certainly a conundrum. 'I understand your right to want to know what has happened to you, but what if you don't want to know? What if, after I remove the charm, you want to forget again? I mean, it might have been you that asked for this, or what you might face might be too disturbing or too much for you to handle. What then? Once an Obliviation has been reversed, it can't be placed back again.'

'I need to know the father of my child.' She stated simply. 'I can't have a child and not know whose it is and the more I leave it the more I desire to know. To me I have never engaged in a physical relationship and I feel that I have the right to know who my first was.'

'What if it was a rape?'

'Don't be silly, if I was raped, surely the Order would know. I would have been under Order protection if Death Eaters had kidnapped me, plus, it wouldn't just be a few hours lost.'

'Not if it was another student who did it and also Obliviated you.'

'Then in that case I really want to know, because then I'd hunt the bastard down and bloody Obliviate him into Oblivion!' She spat. 'I need to know this, Mr. Weasley, for my own peace of mind.'

Sighing Mr Weasley reluctantly agreed. 'You may feel a little bit disorientated as I do this, and you'll have a mighty headache afterwards, but you'll be okay once it passes.' Standing behind her he raised her wand and uttered the spell; _'sensim solvo memoria.'_

She felt her head become very warm and fuzzy; a deep feeling of relaxation overcame her and she almost wanted to fall asleep. Shaking her head momentarily the blurry feeling left her, she tried to recall what she had forgotten but it still wasn't there. 'It didn't work,' she moaned as a sudden throbbing started at the back of her head.

'Well of course not, not right away.' Mr. Weasley smiled gently as he sat down again. 'You have to give it time. I used a slower release instead of a straight _solvo memoria_, which would have thrown you for six. A painful memory can be dangerous if it comes back too suddenly.'

'Oh,' she managed. 'When will I remember?'

'Shortly, it will come to you in bits and pieces,' the man's eyes looked weary, 'I just pray you don't regret it.'

They spent the rest of the afternoon together; she showed him the clockwork mouse and delighted in his sheer excitement and Mr. Weasley informed her of what was happening. Voldemort was slowly creeping upon them, and he feared that soon Harry would have to face him. Both Harry and Ron were trying to live as normal lives as they could before the inevitable battle they would both have to face – Ron would never let Harry face Voldemort alone.

Harry was in Auror Training and was doing very well. He was miles ahead of the other trainees in respect of his spell work, tracking abilities and capture, but he was still lacking in disguising and his paper work was abysmal. She mused that it would be hard for Harry to disguise himself successfully, he was far too well known, and magical scars never fade. A flash of bear shoulder cut through her mind, a deep scar running from the back to the front, barely distinguishable from the deathly pale skin under it. It was so close to the neck, if it had been a few millimetres to the right…

She sat bolt upright. Mr. Weasley looked at her with interest.

'I think its working,' she whispered, 'I think I just remembered something.'

'What was it?'

'A shoulder, with a scar, that was it.' Mr. Weasley didn't comment any further and instead rewound the mouse and let it run across the workbench once more. Hermione stifled a giggle; he looked so much like Ron.

'Do they… I mean-'

'They miss you so much,' Mr. Weasley commented without looking at her. 'Ron searched everywhere for you; he looked here, headquarters, Diagon Alley, absolutely everywhere. He even stormed down to the dungeons and demanded that Snape allow him to search his chambers!' Hermione gasped. 'Severus' face was brilliant according to Harry,'

'How is Se-the professor?' she asked quietly. Mr. Weasley looked her over before answering. He had avoided questioning her about Snape the entire afternoon, even when she had confessed her feelings for him. His stomach had lurched when she told him, not out of disgust, but from fear, fear that the father might be Snape. There were so many things that didn't quite fit into place about how he was discovered, and this would answer many of the questions. He would bet his last Knut that if Snape was the father, he certainly had no idea about it.

'He's... coping.'

'Is he still at Hogwarts?'

'Of course, he is a man of his word Hermione.'

It was touching too close to home for the young witch and she decided that now would be a good time to say goodbye. Mr. Weasley apparated her to the station at Newport, 'Are you sure I can't take you to your home?'

'You know I can't allow you to know where I am.' She sighed. 'Please, remember not to say anything to them about me being here. If they know they'll start looking for me again and they have enough on their plate.'

'I will Hermione,' he gave her a polite kiss on the cheek goodbye; 'take care of yourself, and when you have that child, you will let us know won't you?'

'Of course I will. You had best return before Mrs. Weasley knows you're gone.' He nodded his agreement and with a 'pop' he was gone. She waited for the train before she began to sob.

* * *

Severus threw a book across the room; it was actually intended for Draco's head, but the young blond ducked just in time.

'You are not paying attention!' Severus bellowed at the younger wizard. 'How do you expect to cover your _feelings_ if you're off daydreaming?' He threw another book.

'I am not daydreaming; I'm just a little distracted tonight,' came the tart reply from Draco as he dodged the second book. 'You know that tonight-'

'Yes, I remember very well, thank you very much. You've not been able to block it out all night. That amongst other things,' Severus spat back. 'Please really do try Draco; I seriously do not want to see that!' A sneer set upon his lips as he looked down at the boy. 'Now prepare… _Legilimens!'_

Draco was unprepared this time; he hadn't even thought that Severus would hit him right away; normally he gave him a moment or two to prepare. Harry had always sniffed at this remembering his own encounters with the dark-haired wizard. Although it had paid off. Harry was now on par with Severus in his Occlumency skills and often teased Draco about the way Severus taught him. A flurry of images flashed through Severus' mind;

_Draco was withering on a bed, begging for release, his back arching as he reached heights he had never known before… He was looking into the eyes of the Dark Lord, pledging his allegiance... Draco was back in bed, this time grabbing the waist of a slender form and slamming himself into a pert round bottom… He was teaching the first years basic charms in class, watching a few feathers float in the air… He was talking to his father, a satisfied laugh escaping Lucius' lips… He was back in bed, looking into the eyes of-_

Snape tore himself away, his head momentarily spinning. 'When did all this happen?'

Draco tried to steady himself; his legs were weakened by the strength of the unsuspecting probe. 'Last- last night,' he stammered, 'we were just talking about the revel tonight and it kind of happened.'

'Damn it Draco!' Severus shouted, 'I told you not to get involved! I explicitly told you that it was far too dangerous! You know what happened to me, and I am a _brilliant _Occlumens!' The blond looked away. 'Get out of my sight!' Severus roared before storming from the classroom and slamming his chamber door shut.

Draco quivered, mostly from the continuous exposure to the spells his mentor had rained down on him, but there was also fear. He couldn't believe what he had just let his teacher see. He couldn't risk that again; he would have to be so careful from now on.

It had been six months since Hermione had left Hogwarts, Draco had thought it would be easy for his mentor to forget about the brief affair he had had with her, however it was proving to be quite the opposite. The Christmas holidays seemed to be particularly hard on the professor this year. He used to brood over Christmas, stating it was a worthless holiday full of false promises and lies to children about a half giant who made a living from breaking into peoples houses. Last year he had been in a 'better' mood. He hadn't once complained about the holiday, he hadn't praised it either, but it had definitely been a better experience for him. Draco's mind clicked into place. That would have been their first Christmas together.

He sighed and left the classroom, his soul tearing in two as he fought a war between loyalty to a cause and loyalty to a friend, and he felt another piece of himself die.

* * *

Severus sat with a glass of red wine in one hand, a book mindlessly cradled in the other. He turned the page absently and took another sip of his wine, the flavour lost on him as he stared at the new page without reading a word. He couldn't concentrate on anything of late unless it was his teaching, and Draco had really screwed that up tonight.

He let a curse slip as he thought about Draco and his young lover. He had seen friendship blossoming between the two, had watched them develop a kinship that no one else knew about except he and Dumbledore and he had warned Draco against getting involved at all costs. He rubbed his free hand across his eyes in frustration. It was all too much for the young spy; he didn't have the experience or knowledge for this situation. Severus had been playing this part since his twentieth year and had continued it for almost twenty years since. Even when the Dark Lord was supposedly gone, he hadn't been able to let his guard down, just in case.

He had tried to counsel his young friend in his new double life; Charms apprentice and Order spy to the light, and Death Eater Reveller in the shadows. However, he felt that he was failing. He couldn't even do one simple thing right.

He turned another page of the book, having not read a single word of the previous and continued in his musings. His mind wandered over the possibilities of the war outcome; when he had first started to spy he hadn't cared who won, if the light prevailed he would be empty from his wrong doings, if the dark won then he would be empty from his failings. When the Dark Lord disappeared, he was slightly relieved, although he still hadn't allowed himself to relax, not with all the other Death Eaters who had escaped. He kept face with them, acknowledging them and showing support to the School without directly voicing support to Dumbledore, although the aging headmaster knew that he had it in abundance.

When the Dark Lord had risen again, he had taken his cross up once more and ran headfirst back into an old familiar and comfortable role. He loved the fear, revelled in the adrenaline of it and delighted at the rush he got. However, things had changed this time around. For the first couple of years of Voldemort's, everything was the same. Secret meetings of the Death Eaters, Order Meetings – again in secret – teaching and showing support in public to neither cause, but then the third year had crept upon them and he had been given an assistant. Hermione Granger had walked into his classroom one evening and had thrown down the gauntlet. She respected him and in return she demanded his respect back. He wasn't going to give in easily though, and he certainly wasn't going to admit that he already had admiration for her. The way she handled him in each of her potion classes… a smiled played on his lips as he remembered how she bit her lip at his snide comments and mustered her Gryffindor bravery to defy him by helping Longbottom.

By Christmas he was in love. They were in the lab on Christmas morning; the silly little girl had gone and bought him a Christmas present, a crystal set of vials. A most precious gift for simply a professor. He had eyed her wearily as he examined each vial; flawless, just like her.

'Miss Granger,' he had drawled. 'I find this gift highly inappropriate, it is far too expensive and elegant a present for a student to adorn on her professor.' He had risen and walked around his desk to be in front of her. 'Especially when said professor has nothing to give in return.' She had blushed profusely at his comments and stumbled in her answer.

'Of course I didn't expect anything in return Professor, I saw them in the Apothecary in Hogsmeade and I remembered you commenting how you had admired them over the summer but felt it a reckless purchase. When I saw them in the sale,' she blushed again, 'I just had to buy them.'

Over the three months they had been working together during her 'detentions' he had grown fond of the girl with her untameable bushy locks and little upturned nose. Her mind gave him someone he could debate with, not talk down to. She talked about matters that were nothing to do with Death Eaters, Lord Voldemort, Harry-Bloody-Potter or the Order of the Phoenix. He delighted in being treated like another human being; like a friend.

And then she had stood there, her hair swept back into a ponytail exposing her flushed cheeks. She had tried to apologise, she had turned her head to look at him and before he could catch himself he had pressed his lips against hers.

He pulled back as if burnt; the moment his lips had touched hers a fire had shot to his stomach, awakening part of him he never knew had been alive. A part of his anatomy had also sprung to life, something that didn't do far too often either. He looked at her as though she had scorched him. Her eyes were wide with surprise, he tried to see if horror was also splayed across her face, but his eyes locked on to hers and suddenly he knew; he saw her laid bare emotionally. A flash of an image flew across his mind, it was as clear as Hermione was before him.

_They were on the desk behind him, their glistening naked bodies locked together as he took her. He was above her, his arms on either side supporting his weight; her back was arched in sheer delight, her legs hooked on his hips as she moved her own to meet his rhythm._

He had ripped his gaze away, could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he turned his back on the girl – no _woman_ – who was evoking his more primal male instincts.

'Professor?' she had asked quietly.

'Miss Granger,' he said in a mere whisper, not trusting his voice any louder. 'That was very inappropriate of me; I should not have done that. If you feel the need to report me to the Headmaster, I will not put up a fight.'

He head a soft murmur and felt a slight 'swoosh' past his ear. He turned around and saw her wand out and her gaze concentrating on a point above his head. He looked up to see what held her attention. Mistletoe was hanging above him, just a few inches from his head. It hung with magic, suspended by the thin air that surrounded it.

'Miss Granger!' he exclaimed and stepped from underneath it. The mistletoe, however, followed him. 'Stop this.'

'You know,' she started, 'that you cannot not kiss someone standing under the mistletoe, its bad luck and I think we need all the luck in the world with the War going on.' She smiled as she stepped toward him. He took a startled step back, but couldn't tare his eyes away from her beautiful red lips. 'You know Professor; anyone would think that you were scared of a Gryffindor and a woman to boot. What would your big bad Death Eater friends say about that?' She smiled at him saucily.

'Miss Granger,' he growled as he stepped back against the dungeon. He was trapped. 'I demand that you cease this silly little escapade at once.' Her body was lightly pressed against his, his stomach gave another lurch and his body craved to have hers pushed hard against his, preferably naked. His arms yearned to wrap around her and pull her head back so that he could crush her lips under his. He waited for her next move, but she didn't make one. She just stood there, her breathing a little shallow, her breast lightly brushing his chest. He groaned as his arm snuck around her, grabbing her ponytail to bring her head back as his lips crushed hers in a passionate, electrifying kiss.

Severus shook his head free of the images, his body aching as he thought of his beautiful brave Gryffindor. He wondered how she was, where she was and would he ever see her again. If he hadn't given his blasted word to stay here he would have been out there, searching for her, begging her to spend forever with him.

She had been his downfall and yet his salvation. He now knew how to love someone with passion, willing to risk everything for them. Moreover, he had.

A knock at his chamber door brought him out of his reverie. Sighing he stood and made his way over to it, bracing himself for the berating he would undoubtedly be receiving from Albus for not attending dinner in the Great Hall that evening. During the Christmas break all the remaining professors were required to attend all evening meals, unless they have prior excuse from Dumbledore himself.

The red head of Arthur Weasley was a complete surprise to him.

* * *

Arthur Weasley was a man Severus had deep respect for; however, right now he wanted to plant a fist on the man's protruding nose.

'Severus,' Arthur had nodded, as the door had swung open. 'I'm sorry to bother you at this late hour; however this is the first chance I've had in months to get away.' Severus returned the nod and opened his door to his fellow Order member.

'Arthur, how are you this evening?'

'I'm a little troubled actually,' the elder Weasley commented as Severus waved him to a seat and took one opposite. 'I had a visitor a few months ago; I was shocked to say the least at both my guest and their news.' He paused and looked at the Potions Master, he looked drained, and Arthur knew on the best of days Severus found it difficult to have company, but it looked as if his presence this evening was causing physical pain. He kept shifting in his chair, as if there was something sharp sticking in his back. Finally he muttered an angry 'get on with it' before slouching, arms across his chest with an almost pout on his lips. It was almost comical.

'Severus, Hermione visited me.'

The professor shot bolt up right. 'What? When? How is she? Is she okay? Does she…' he trailed off, 'What did she have to say for herself?' he finished trying to sneer at his last comment.

'She wanted me to lift a memory charm. It wasn't a hard one to lift, but I had reservations…' Severus stiffened completely at Arthur's words. 'It had something to do with a missing night. The night you were found out to be precise.' He waited for the potions master to comment. When he made no move to talk or to even look at the man, which in itself confirmed what Arthur had feared, he continued. 'I released the memory slowly, but by now she would have remembered everything – I just hope she doesn't regret what she's found out.' Suddenly Severus was on his feet and had the aging red head by his collar, lifting him clear out of the chair.

'You will keep that nose out of my business.' He bellowed dragging the other wizard across the room to his dungeon's door. 'And if I ever see you in my chambers again,' he opened the door, 'you will be wanting me to Obliviate you!' he threw the man out into the hallway, watching him crash into the wall opposite. 'I trust you'll have a goodnight.' And with that he closed the door. _Some friendships just aren't worth the pain, _he thought bitterly returning to his bottle of wine and book.

* * *

A/N: As always, mucho thanks to my beta Claudia! Without her, this wouldn't be half as much fun to read!

My Spells: 'sensim solvo memoria' Slowly Release Memory  
'solvo memoria' Release Memory

We had a little debate on WIKTT Misc as to if an Obliviate could in fact be reversed. After reading the first few chapters of GoF I decided that the reason that Bertha Jorkins was killed was because LV wanted her dead, not because that's what happens when a Memory Charm is reversed. It was decided on WIKTT that Lockharts isn't a 'normal' Oblivate, due to Ron's wand so we couldn't really use that as an example! So I used artistic license and decided that a Memory Charm can be lifted without consequence if its done properly. If anyone care's to disagree, please comment, however, I'm not going to change it so there. lol.


	4. The Bird is Getting Fat

_This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

Chapter 3 – The bird is getting fat!

Hermione sat in the basement of the library surrounded by the dusty tomes. She loved her days in the grubby, dimly lit basement surrounded by the older, rarer books. The only problem was, in the last month or so whenever she was down here, she would float off into a deep reverie. At first her memories had come drifting back through dreams and senses of déjà vu, but now she could almost satisfactorily recall them during her waking hours.

She knew what she was remembering; it was the night her 'Lumpy' was conceived. She also knew that it was Severus Snape who was the father. She had seen his face, but there was something else she was missing. She knew that there was something she was still forgetting, she was almost there, but it was just out of her reach.

Her mind slipped off again; they were in the dungeon, she was moving to get to the store cupboard when she tripped and fell straight into the arms of her potions master; her love. She looked up, a flush upon her cheeks in embarrassment at her clumsiness and arousal. Snape's hands had skimmed the sides of her breasts as he helped to upright her. She had looked up at him; he had inhaled as she assumed he saw the look of pure wanton across her face. Suddenly his lips were on hers, assaulting them with his own. His tongue running out across them, begging her to let him enter. She obliged and allowed his tongue to mesh with hers. She had whimpered and moved her hands over his chest to his shoulders before they sunk into his hair. She wanted him. She had begged him a number of times… then things were still in pieces; dark robes opening, a shoulder with a scar so close to the neck, a sharp pain, and the feel of cold against her skin. Her body feeling tired, wanting to sleep and yet, alive and aching but not with pain. Deep piercing dark eyes, fired with passion and love…

She shook her head; she just couldn't grasp that section properly. Her next clear memory was her being lead up to the Headmaster's office, she was trembling, sore, aching and confused. She was being told that Severus was in danger; she was confused as to why that was such a big concern, he was always in danger at the Revels. She began sobbing as she was settled into a gigantic chair, at first she couldn't speak; she was shocked to her core. Her love could be in danger and yet all she wanted was to forget her first time. She shook her head to clear it.

'Headmaster, I need to forget what happened tonight. I need to forget what has lead to all this.' Her voice sounded strange to her own ear. 'If he comes back or not, I do not want to remember what happened there…'

'It is your decision, child, I would not attempt to talk you out of it, but I certainly won't encourage it.' The headmaster took her hand and crouched before her.

'Do you… do you think it's awful of me?'

'Of course not,' he said kindly, 'but I do feel you should talk about it with Severus first.' She nodded mutely. Suddenly the door to the office burst open and in stumbled her love. She couldn't look at him at first as the Headmaster led him to her, her heart was pounding and her breath was becoming ragged, she wanted to run, to bolt. But then he had taken her chin and turned her gaze to him and all she wanted was to be in his arms. His eyes had held such pain and sorrow and she felt so guilty at being disgusted with him, it wasn't his fault after all.

Hermione was completely confused by everything she could fully remember about that night. She kept saying something about Lucius and his voice and not really being there, but if she hadn't been there then where had she been? And what had she meant when she said 'you thought I wanted it'? _Of course I bloody wanted to make love to him! I had told him for months that I did. Gosh how I wish I could owl him and really ask what the hell was going on. _

She knew it had been her idea for the Memory Charm. However, it didn't solve the mystery that was at hand. _Why had I asked for it? What was so bad about us sleeping together? _She imagined that she had rather enjoyed herself, and could definitely remember him enjoying it. Although, there had been a flash of panic in his face before her memory shifted to her being led up to the Head's office.

She sighed and lifted another heavy book, giving it a dust, perhaps there were some things just best left alone. She could imagine some very nice false memories that would fit perfectly with the images she did remember.

* * *

The following morning Hermione waddled into the kitchen. _I'm getting fatter by the minute, _she thought as she stuffed another scone in her mouth. She was nearly eight months pregnant and she was becoming extremely uncomfortable with the extra weight she was carrying. Her back ached, the baby prodded and kicked her throughout the night causing her to lose sleep, her head throbbed and her breasts ached painfully.

'Oh, Lumpy,' she stroked her stomach and winced as the baby kicked again, 'you're just as bad tempered as your father.' She tapped her stomach to warn the baby she wasn't in the mood.

'Mornin'' came a sleepy voice from the doorway. 'Lumpy acting up again?'

Hermione smiled at the brunette, her hair everywhere first thing in the morning, reminding her of herself just a few months ago. Now Hermione sported a much-tamed cropped cut, which she found so much easier to handle now she was pregnant. She couldn't cope with doing it everyday, sitting in front of the mirror just made her ache even more.

'Good Morning Monika,' she chirped, 'sleep well?' Her reply was a grunt as the young woman shuffled to the kettle to switch it on. Hermione's laugh filled the kitchen. 'So how was your date?'

'He was an idiot,' Monika flopped into the chair next to the Gryffindor and pinched the second half of her scone. 'He talked 'bout his friggin' car all night 'n' then had the audacity to complain when I wouldn't go back to his!' her Liverpuddlian accent thick first thing in the morning. She bit into the scone. 'Saw Mike though,' she watched the younger girl's face with interest. Nothing passed over it. 'He asked 'bout you, yer know?'

'I am eight months pregnant! What the hell is up with him?'

'Oh come on, don't tell me yer ain't the slightest bit interested?'

'No, I mean, he is cute- ow!' she grabbed her stomach, 'traitor,' she hissed under her breath. Monika laughed.

'Oh he is in a right mood today.' The kettle finished boiling and she poured herself a cup of tea. 'Right I'm going to go up and get sorted, Matt's picking me up at eleven thirty.'

Hermione shook her head silently as she watched her fellow brunette slouch out of the kitchen, cuppa in hand, and a wistful smile on her lips. She loved Monika dearly, she had taken Hermione in when she had arrived here, been supportive of her situation when she had discovered that she was pregnant and had never once judged her. She helped Hermione at work as well as around the house and promised to continue to do so once the baby was born. Monika was an amazing person, but Hermione was very worried about her. The Muggle girl had come from a broken home, her parents divorced young and her mother had become an alcoholic. She was passed from foster home to foster home until she was sixteen, where she found herself a job and a place of her own. Monika had never looked back. However, she did crave love and dreamt of a large perfect family, and her cravings led her into the arms of a large number of men and relationships.

Monika had squealed with more excitement than Hermione had when she heard Hermione was expecting. _Yeah well, that wasn't hard really was it? _Hermione thought glumly, _you were too worried wondering who the father was._

The first test Hermione had done when she had skipped a period had been more from logical deduction. She was a week late and she wanted to rule everything out before she went to the doctors, she was sure it was just the mental and emotional stress that had but a pause to her menstrual flow. When she raised the pregnancy wand she almost fell off the toilet. Three days later she was again on the toilet looking open mouthed at the wand she held. Trudging to the doctors for confirmation a few days later had felt like the longest trip of her life, until she had walked home with a note of confirmation in her hand. She had had to ask the doctor to write it down, she hadn't believed it, the doctor had sat there for a while trying to get her attention after telling her the news;

'I gather that this isn't a planned pregnancy then.' He had flatly stated. She shook her head silently as she took the paper from him with her results clearly showing. 'Miss Troy, you know that there are other solutions to this problem…' he had trailed off looking at her. Her face had suddenly snapped to attention and it held a horrified expression. How could he even think about that? She shuddered and held her stomach as she thought again about his encouraging voice at the suggestion of abortion. She had nearly thrown up there and then. It was needless to say that she had quickly sought a second doctor. She wouldn't have a murdering bastard as the first person her child would see when brought into this world.

Lumpy gave another nudge to show her he was still alive and kicking – literally. She smiled and soothed him with her hand. When she had finally realised who his father was, she had been relieved another ten fold that she had kept the child. She wanted still to be a part of Severus, and she still loved him dearly – _what better way to show that than with a child? _Lumpy instantly stopped kicking when her thoughts turned to her lost love. She smiled. Lumpy was always happiest when she thought about Severus Snape.

Running a hand over the stomach she silently reassured her unborn babe, _when this awful war is over, we will be able to put this life behind us. I will take you to your father, I promise, and he _will_ be part of your life._ Lumpy gave a very gentle, almost a tickling, prod and gently settled again, obviously content – for now.

* * *

'You know that if Monika catches you doing that she'll go spare,' sung Clarisse. Hermione grunted as she continued to lift the old, almost gigantic books, and swung them around to start her short trip to the other side of the basement. 'For goodness sake Lucy, will you use the trolley? It will be quicker and less painful for us all!' Huffing the bonnie blonde marched over and grabbed the stack that Hermione was carrying. 'Give 'em here. Gosh, Lucy, if you're not careful-' the books scattered everywhere as the girls fought over them. Clarisse bent down sharply, Hermione did the same, forgetting for a split second that she was heavily pregnant, the moment the sharp pain in her side shot through her she quickly remembered and bolted upright. Inhaling deeply to still the throb she placed her hands on her hips, easing her back, which suddenly felt that Lumpy was kicking around as if her spine was a football.

'Lucy!' squealed Clarisse, a loud bang thumbed through the echoing basement as she dropped the books again. 'Your waters!' Hermione looked down; her dungarees were soaked through from her crotch, a puddle forming around her feet. She looked green as a wave of tight cramps hit her, twisting her spine in agony before they travelled through her to her stomach. She clutched tightly at the blue fabric she wore as the wave ran through her. 'Sit.' Clarisse brought her down onto a chair she had dragged behind the labour stricken girl. 'Breathe in, two, three and out, two, three and in, two, three, out two, three. Keep doing that, remember to count, I'm going to get someone to call an ambulance.' Hermione kept breathing as Clarisse advised her, she grimaced again as another wave of pain hit her a few minutes later. Clarisse appeared just as it finished, flagged by Monika and Dave, their boss, he ran straight to her side lifting her up out of her chair.

'It's all right, come on,' he cooed gently. Hermione silently obliged, more from shock than anything. Dave wasn't normally the most caring type, and hadn't really said that much at all to her the entire seven or so months she had worked here. 'We just need to get you up and walking,' he continued, helping to support her weight as another wave hit her and then coercing her into taking another couple of steps. 'Walking will help to keep the edge off the pains.' He kept her walking, all the time encouraging conversation between the four of them until the ambulance arrived, where Monika accompanied her to the hospital.

By the time Hermione arrived at the _Liverpool Women's Hospital _she was screaming and desperate to push; the sweat from her restraint was beading on her brow. _Oh how I wish Madam Promfrey was here, or at least I was in St. Mungo's with lovely anti-contraction potions and soothing balms._ She moaned again as the feeling to push travelled through her.

She was wheeled into a delivery room just a few minutes after being looked over by a midwife, 'she's fully dilated, when did her waters break?' the midwife had asked Monika who suggested roughly between half an hour and an hour ago. The midwife told her not to be stupid this was at least double if not triple where she should be even in a 'good' labour. If Hermione had been able to think about anything other than the gigantic head that was trying to squeeze through her almost virginal entrance she would have laughed and made a hidden comment about witches and magic.

Suddenly she could take no more and pushed. The midwife had barely been ready, after a couple more pushes; the cries of a fresh pair of lungs filled the room before a swaddled bundle was placed proudly on an exhausted chest.

'Miss Troy, I'd like you to meet your son, say hello to mamma little one.' The midwife whispered to a gooey baby that had stopped crying and had begun looking around bewildered. Hermione wrapped her arms around the boy and cuddled her close.

'Hello Lumpy,' she smiled tiredly, 'so you're the one who kept kicking me.' She almost swore she saw a scowl that said _well you're the one who wouldn't do what _I_ wanted._ Already she knew that he would be just like his father. She smiled sweetly at him and his face softened as she said 'like father, like son.'

* * *

_Dear Mr Weasley,_

_I think that you need to congratulate me; I am now the proud mother of a bouncing baby boy – literally! His name is Samuel Severus Snape or Sam for short, I named him after his father and late grandfather. He is just over a month old now and is doing very well, he weighed a healthy six pounds eight ounces – although it felt a lot more – and has his father's dark eyes, but my hair. He is simply gorgeous; see for yourself, the picture enclosed is of Sam and I._

_I just wanted to thank you for your kindness in removing the charm; it has helped me to accept Sam as my own child and helps me to connect him to his father. It also means that I have something to tell him about his dad when he's older. He already loves hearing about his father – that's when he literally starts to bounce his crib. I have to be careful about leaving him with my friends due to his already apparent magical ability._

_I know that one day he will have to attend Hogwarts in order to ensure that his magical capabilities are honed, and at that day I pray that the war is over so that he may freely use his family name. I dream of the day when I can return to the wizarding world and rejoice with you all. I can't wait to see Ron and Harry and let them know that I have a son, that they're 'uncles.' Ron will throw a fit when he finds out that Sam's father is Severus, I laugh so much at that image._

_I just wanted you to know that I am fine and being well looked after. Sam has so many people here who love him, he will want for nothing._

_I love you all, take care,_

_Hermione_

_X_

Arthur folded the letter he had collected from the Muggle Post Office that morning. He had thoroughly enjoyed his time there, the electronic voice that called out number positions and the penikles with chains on them.

He liked the sound of the letter, Hermione had a healthy, happy and clearly magical child – _and so does Severus,_ he mused. He knew that she couldn't tell Severus about the child; Severus would drag her kicking and screaming back to the castle. He also knew that if anyone else saw this letter they would do the same, or the Death Eaters would use the child against them both, to draw them out and hinder the Order. Even Dumbledore wouldn't be allowed to know of the child's existence, he would have the entire Order out to protect her and the little one and they were already overstretched protecting Harry and Ron as the two made their way close to the final battle.

Harry especially had been deeply involved in the preparations. On the odd occasion when Draco felt his emotions were running too high to hide from Voldemort or if it were a particularly important meeting that needed full concentration on what was happening, Harry would take his place, wearing a glamour and hiding his mind completely. Draco, although becoming more and more competent at Occlumency, was not at the level that would be acceptable for those meetings. He would become very sulky at the Order Headquarters' when there on the nights that Harry took his place; he had even heard a rumour from Professor McGonagall that once he had blasted the Charms classroom apart in frustration as he awaited news of the return of the boy-who-lived.

No, now was not the time for the newest member of the prestigious Snape family to become part of the Wizarding world.

* * *

A/N: As always, thanks to my Beta - and thanks for the reviews (if you do flame - and seriously I don't mind in the slightest - at least sign in, doing in Anon is just cowardly.)

I have noticed something of late with certain LJ's and e-mail lists - If you want to use snippets of a story, please ask the Author's permission. It is their work after all, even if _you_ don't like it, they have worked long and hard on it. Its only manners and as it doesn't cost anything to use manners everyone should use them - if you don't you're just ignorant! I would rarely decline snippets of my story being placed anywhere, as long as I have access to see what you're doing with it... And remember, if an author doesn't want their work snipped and posted somewhere then you're **_stealing_** their work. They also have the _right_ to withdraw said permission.


	5. Almost forgotten, but not quite

_This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

Chapter 4 – Almost forgotten, but not quite

Draco came barrelling into the dungeons one Friday night; Severus jumped from his chair and whipped around wand at the ready. His young mentee stood bent over, hand on the doorframe, panting from his exhaustion at rushing through the castle. Severus wondered what had happened – had the young wizard been found out?

Just over three years had gone by and the child before him had grown far beyond his original expectations from the eleven year old he had been introduced to when he had been sorted into Slytherin. However, his expectations as a spy had not yet been met. He had been teaching the boy skills such as Occlumency, skulking and behaviour techniques for nearly four years, at first progress had been slow, then it had picked up, but just as suddenly it had slowed again.

Some days were better than others; on the others, books or other items Severus could get hold of flew across the room towards that pretty blond head.

'Well, are you going to tell me why you have barged in here and ruined my perfectly acceptable evening?' snapped Severus; he nodded towards his book and glass of deep red wine. The book, as always, wasn't even open and the glass of wine untouched.

'I'm sorry, sir,' Draco managed between laboured breaths, 'but I had to come right away. The Dark Lord issued orders, he found _her_.' Severus blinked for a moment or two before realisation settled in on who 'her' was.

'Where is she?' he breathed.

'I don't know. He has grown suspicious again and sent only three out after her. She had been living a Muggle life for the entire time she was away, it was hard for them to do, but they did it. I don't know how and I don't know where.' He flopped down the doorframe. It was then that Severus noticed for the first time that Draco was actually dressed in his Death Eater garb.

'You didn't come and tell me there was a meeting tonight?'

'I didn't have time. The pain was so intense. It was lucky that I got there when I did. Those who arrived after me received the _Cruciatus Curse _after the news was given.' Draco shook his head. 'Gosh, Snape, he was so pleased. He said… he said that tonight would deliver not just one blow to the Order but two. He didn't explain any further. Told us that three had already been dispatched to deal with the bint and that they would return shortly. He then dealt the punishment to those that arrived late, and then two others turned up. One of them had fallen; stated that they met some unforeseen resistance. He then disbanded the meeting and bid us our leave. I came back as fast as I could.'

Severus looked at the blond with his head hung limply to his chest. The weight of the world was pressed upon him._ He's the lucky one, wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for Potter periodically taking his place. He's not really fit to be a spy, but he's all we have. Severus sighed, if only I hadn't been found out. She would be…_ he turned and stalked to the fireplace, taking a pinch of Floo Powder he threw it at his feet. 'Twelve Grimmauld Place,' he stated clearly before he was gone in a flash of green light.

Draco looked up after the green flames died down. His mouth twitched. Severus Snape had just left his rooms after three years. He stood up, closing the door behind him as he too left.

* * *

Hermione hummed to herself as she walked along the streets that would lead her back to the home she had come to love. She'd had a wonderful evening, she and Damon had been celebrating their three months together as a couple and she was starting to feel normal again. She knew that Damon wasn't the one, but it was nice to be 'back out there,' 'getting a life' and 'starting again' as her friends had advised her.

She wasn't over Severus Snape yet, and she doubted that Sam would ever allow her to be. She had tucked him in bed before she had left to meet Damon, and in his unexplainable wisdom he had managed to tug at the guilt strings connected to her heart.

'Goodnight sweetie,' she had cooed as she pressed her lips to his warm forehead, 'I'll see you in the morning.'

'Story!' he had demanded, his brows drawing together in a frown. She laughed; she still found it amazing that although he looked just like her, his eyes and mannerisms were all from the Snape line. She had prepared for this event and had allowed herself enough time.

'Which one do you want?' she asked going to his bookshelf.

'No!' came the taunt little reply, 'I want daddy story!' He crossed his arms as she looked softly at him. He always bloody knew.

Sighing she sat on the edge of his bed and smoothed his soft brown hair down. It was perfectly straight, just like his father's. She wished she'd had that blessing, running her hands through her own short, slightly kinked hair, she was just starting to let it grow again and it could sometimes take her ages to straighten even the short cut she had.

'Well, in a magical land, called Scotland, there is a magical school called Hogwarts, and in this magical school boys and girls from the age of eleven attend to learn how to do magic and cast spells. This is also where the boys and girls live during school time, but they don't live alone they also have teachers living there as well.

'In this school there is a Potions Master, who has long dark raven hair and eyes as black as night. He wears only black clothes and his skin is as pale as the moon against the shadowy night sky when he wears his attire.

'People called him ugly, but one day a girl fell madly in love with her teacher and he with her. He became very handsome indeed because of this love and wanted to spend forever with his princess student, but he couldn't. An evil wizard had swept upon the magic land and wouldn't allow anyone to fall in love, or else they would be locked away forever in a prison in the sea.

'So because the teacher loved his student so much he asked her to go away and have their baby in freedom, and so she did. She moved to England and started a new life, where she had her baby and brought him up. The teacher always wanted to come and see his son, but he was caught in a war between the good and bad witches and wizards.

'One day though, the good wizards will win and the student will take her son to Hogwarts where he will meet his dad and live happily ever after, learning to do magic with his mummy and daddy.' She smiled as the boy started to slowly fall into slumber. She kissed his forehead again and stood up to leave; as she was closing the door she heard his little voice whisper;

'I love my hero daddy,' she smiled and closed the door, leaving it just slightly ajar so Monika could hear him if he needed her.

'If you tell him stories about witches and wizards,' came Monika's voice, startling her from her thoughts of Hogwarts and the image of her son being sorted, she was smiling at the image of Severus' disgust as the hat called 'Gryffindor.' 'You really shouldn't make them involve his 'daddy' and mummy. It will only confuse him later. Actually, I really don't think you should be telling him that he was your teacher. You know I still can't believe you didn't report him when he abandoned you.'

'You know that's none of your business and I'll remind you that what I tell _my _son is_ my_ choice. _I'm_ his mother.' She took her bag and headed down the stairs. 'I'll be back no later than midnight.' She called over her shoulder as she closed the front door firmly behind her.

She had been mad at Monika when she had left, Sam was three years old now and he needed his imagination fed. She also wanted him to be able to accept the wizarding world when the time came for him to make the transition and if telling him some 'fairy-tale' style stories would make that easier for him then so be it. They weren't lies after all. Monika was becoming increasingly possessive of Sam lately. She had gone through a lot this past year, suffering a miscarriage and then her fiancé running off on her. Hermione did have sympathy for the woman, she knew what it was like to lose the love of your life, but she was not going to give up her role of a mother to ease the pain of someone else.

She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she was just a few houses away from her own when she noticed it. The sky was eerily green and it was getting brighter. Suddenly she stopped as the source of the light came into view.

The Dark Mark.

She hadn't seen it in four years. She had very nearly forgotten what it looked like, but now she remembered every detail. There was a crowd of people gathering outside her house as she walked shakily towards her door.

'Its okay,' she called out, surprising herself with the strength of her own voice, 'its just some fireworks we had set up in the back for Mon's birthday, kids must have set them off on us. Bloody pains in the arses,' she watched tensely as her neighbours went back to their homes and closed their doors. She then turned to face her own door and slid the key in the lock. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she might find. She felt exposed without her wand, wished that she had it now, but it was tucked up in its box at the back of her wardrobe. Slipping through the door as silently as she could, she left it slightly ajar as she started her way through the house, she wanted to rush in, run to Sam and make sure he was okay, but those first few years of the war had woken her up to the need of a cool head and stealth in these situations.

She was doing the exact opposite to what she had done when the Dark Mark had hovered above her parents home five years previous. Then she had rushed in, wand raised and curses blazing. She had nearly caused her own death. Now she had a child to think about.

The downstairs was empty, she prayed that the upstairs was also empty, prayed that Monika and Sam had escaped before they had really hit the house. She crept to the stairs that loomed threateningly in front of her. Taking a deep breath she made her way carefully up them, and then stopped dead on the landing. A body lay sprawled on the floor, the body of a woman. Monika.

She had been hit by the _Avada Kedavra,_ her face caught in the moonlight spilling in from the high skylights above. It was then she saw that the door to Sam's room was wide open, a little light, almost like the light from a wand was glittering through the opening. She crept into her own room, and moved to her wardrobe; pulling a long thin red box from it, she removed her wand. She could feel it hum against her skin as she felt its magic connect to her own for the first time since she had left Hogwarts that cold morning almost four years ago.

With painstaking slowness she moved into Sam's room… and fell to her knees, breaking down into heavy sobs. Her son, her precious son was dead. He lay near another figure, completely still, eyes shut, a small frown set upon his face. She wanted to go and capture him in her arms, but she was too afraid, she couldn't move. There was a message glowing in the wall above him;

_We finally got the Mudblood – the Dark Lord will prevail._

Then, she heard a noise.

* * *

A/N: And much much, much thanks to Claudia! My Fantastic Beta, who I have to give much credit to for getting this story out there! Literally without her, this wouldn't be here!

p.s thanks for the reviews to!


	6. Returning Home

_This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

**WARNING: Reviewers on Ashwinder have stated that they needed a box of tissues from this chapter on…**

Chapter 5 – Returning Home

'I want to know where she is damn it!' Severus thumped his fist onto Potter's desk. Harry looked from the fist to the eyes of the devil in front of him. He had never liked Snape, and had certainly disliked him more when the Head had explained what had happened that fateful evening. He wanted to rip his head off and piss down his neck for 'raping' his friend. It didn't matter that they were already involved; Snape should have known that she was under the _Imperious Curse_. He was, after all, the Death Eater amongst them.

'I don't know where she is.' He said truthfully. 'None of us have ever known.'

'Don't lie to me boy!' growled the dark man again. 'I never asked before for her safety, but now they've found her and we need to get to her.'

'Don't you mean you never asked for your _own_ safety? And for the hundredth time I. Don't. Know.' He slammed his own hands down on the desk as he lurched up from his seat. His green eyes flashed and Severus was able to see he spoke the truth. Harry tore his gaze away and took a deep breath. Snape was the only one that could rally him up, forget to control his mind and hide his emotions. He ran a hand through his already messy hair and sat back down again in resignation. 'I wish I knew. Ron's going mental; he's on his way now. He's blaming himself of course for not finding her, and if you,' Harry pointed at him as he looked up at his old professor, 'if you say anything to him to make him feel worse, I'll end your pathetic existence here and now.' Snape turned and walked away back towards the fireplace, he had been here for nearly an hour already and time was running out. He was in agony as to what the bastards had done to her. Had they raped her before killing her? Had she been able to put up a fight? If she had to have died he would have preferred to think of her as the glorious Amazonian warrior that he dreamed of, fighting for her life and freedom, going down in a blaze of glory and taking one of the bastards with her. He smiled a sad smile at that thought and if Harry hadn't been locked in his own, he might have seen the unfeeling fiend who had plagued him for his adult life show an unguarded emotion.

'They've found her! They've found her!' a voice shouted down the hallway, Snape and Harry both bolted for the door and where nearly knocked off their feet as the door opened with a crash. Ron Weasley came barrelling into the room, his face haunted, a myriad of emotions dancing over his face which was wet with recent tears that still hung to his lashes. 'Harry,' he cracked, 'They found her.'

'Where is she?' Severus growled. Ron turned in shock at the sound; he replied without really looking at whom he was speaking to, the blow was just too great for him to deal with. 'In Liverpool, a place called Walton, or was it Woolton?' Severus nodded and walked out the door.

'Snape!' Harry called after him; Ron took that moment to collapse into tears again. Harry caught him, unable to move without dropping his remaining best friend; 'Snape!' he screamed again, 'Stop! You can't go on your own!' But it was useless; the front door had already slammed shut before he had finished his sentence. Harry offered a pray to whoever was listening that they would protect Snape, so that Dumbledore wouldn't kill him for letting his potions master die.

* * *

The noise was coming from downstairs; there was someone moving about, suddenly a muffled voice cursed as something crashed to the floor. She made her way quietly back to the stairs and was surprised to see a silhouette bent over rubbing their shins, and then kicking the small telephone table that had toppled over. She gasped and the figure came to attention, aiming their wand at her. She brought her own up and began to call _Expelliarmus_ but the silhouette was quicker, her wand sailed out of her hand and into that of her opponent as she fell back against the wall at the force of the spell. The figure was already half way up the stairs, when she climbed back to her feet and made a dash for into Sam's room, she was aiming to reach the window to climb down the tree next to it. She barely got in the doorway when a familiar voice called 'Hermione?'

_It couldn't be._ Hermione thought as she heard her true name spoken. _He's in Hogwarts; no one knows where I am. It's a trick. Don't turn around._ A soft light sparked and it trailed over her form. She was frozen in fear, _its them; they're trying to trick me_. Slowly she turned to face the voice, she couldn't see him, and a wave of emotions hit her. Did she want to see him? Was it really him? Why was he here, he was supposed to be keeping himself safe! Nevertheless, he was here, he was here for her. She suddenly didn't feel too good; this was all far too much for her.

* * *

He had apparated the moment the door to Order Headquarters had closed behind him. The moment he had apparated into the shopping street of Walton he had a clear view of the Dark Mark down the hill above a row of houses, he ran faster than he knew he was capable. He didn't want anyone else to see her before he did, he needed to make her presentable before the Aurors got there; he didn't want them to see her tortured or raped body. He nearly vomited at the idea, knowing that he had left her that position once before.

When he had reached the house that was anchoring the Dark Mark he approached with caution, the door was ajar and there was a faint light shimmering in a window behind a tree upstairs. He slowly pushed open the door and entered the dwelling. Moving carefully to the bottom of the stairs he tripped on the upturned carpet's edge and cracked his shins on the low table against the wall. Before he could stop himself he let out a curse and began to furiously rub his injured leg. He was mad at himself; if he had acted like this when he was spying he'd have been dead before Harry was even a twinkle in his father's eye. He kicked the table in his frustration.

He heard a gasp from the stairs, spun around and cast _Expelliarmus_ sending the figure flying back against the wall and their wand to land neatly in his hand. He was going to kill whomever it was when he got hold of them, he made a pledge to be brutal as he stormed the stairs. Without warning the figure he was set to destroy got up and ran for the end room, the one with the light. He remembered the tree and doubled his effort. As the figure reached the doorway of its intent the light illuminated its face. Severus stopped still and uttered the name before he thought.

'Hermione?'

She stopped but didn't turn for a moment, his heart pounded in his chest, _it can't be_, he thought dumbstruck, _she's dead, they reported back that she was dead_. It was then he noticed the body at his feet. '_Lumos'_ he said and his wand tip sparked to life. He cast the light over the two, first the girl in the doorway; it certainly was Hermione, she was stood their breathing and as alive as he was. Her hair was a lot shorter than it used to be and she carried a little more weight than she had before. She had aged well but had a look in her eyes far beyond her twenty-two years, if his heart had still be there it would have broken at the loss of her innocence.

He quickly turned the light to the body at his feet; another girl with wild waist length brown hair, her brown eyes open and complete vacant of life. He realised that if it were dark, he would have mistaken her for Hermione too. He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding and faced his beloved again. She had slowly turned to face him, fear, wonder, joy, horror, sadness, and a range of other emotions fluttered over her face. 'Severus,' she managed to whisper before her eyes fluttered and her body swooned. In three steps he had her securely in his arms, her eyes fluttered open as her body leaned against his. 'Severus,' she whispered again. His heart beat like a wild jungle drum. She was saying his name, her throaty whispery breath was curling around his name, and it was stirring things in his stomach and blood, emotions he thought he would never feel again.

'Hermione,' he whispered, to lift his voice would have disturbed the moment between them, 'Oh Hermione,' he kissed her forehead, 'Hermione,' he kissed her cheeks, he felt her tears begin to fall, he kissed them away too, all the while chanting her name in hushed tones, his voice gravely with unbidden emotions. He wanted to weep, he wanted to bind her to him and never let her go again. He kissed her other cheek, her eyes, her chin, her little upturned nose. He was about to kiss her lips when a crackling noise started in the room. He raised his head, his arms still tightly around her and she turned in them to see where it had come from.

The light that had appeared in the room came from a message that was starting to hiss at them '_We got the Mudblood the Dark Lord will prevail_,' was written, but now there was something else appearing underneath, '_Severus, will be ours_,' flashed to life with a loud bang.

Hermione gasped and slumped against him in shock. Severus didn't even blink. _Stupid parlour trick_, he thought sarcastically. 'Hermione,' he started, 'we have to go, we need to get you to Hogwarts where you will be safe.'

At the mention of leaving, Hermione ripped herself from his arms and hurried into the room. 'No,' she said shakily, 'I can't go. Sam and Monika…' she trailed off turning to look at the other figures on the floor. 'Sam,' she broke into sobs as she knelt by the babe's body. Severus cursed; he hadn't seen the other bodies. He walked over to inspect them closely. The one she was clutching was a child, about three years old, he thought sadly to the girl in the hallway and realised that another family had been killed. He looked at the man and realised that this was the fallen Death Eater. He kicked its face once for good measure, taking out some of his frustrations on it. Hermione didn't see his actions, she was sobbing openly over the loss of the child. Severus bent down and removed the mask from the fallen and stood in shock and confusion. Lucius Malfoy was dead, a look of astonishment and surprise frozen on his face.

A popping noise sounded downstairs, he made towards the door and checked the hallway. A figure was making its way up the stairs; it rounded the corner, wand lit. 'Severus Snape?' it questioned. He knew that voice.

'Shaklebolt.' He nodded in reply and turned back into the room. He was amazed that he had gotten here before the Auror's but had been glad for their absence when he had arrived. Now, he was grateful, he felt it would be easier to get Hermione away; he knew how stubborn she could be. 'Hermione,' he approached the weeping witch. 'We must go now, the Auror's are here, they will take care of everything.' He heard the Auror shift and he threw him a look that told him to bugger off. He turned back to Hermione and he heard the Auror behind him move away.

'No,' she shook her head, still clutching the child to her chest, her head bent to it. He tried to detangle her from the still boy. 'No, no, no, I can't leave him, no I won't. I can't.' Severus looked at the scene before him; his heart broken beloved had lost her own family, then her love and now her surrogate family as well. Her body shook with her loud tears, her arms wrapped tightly around the still form, the child's head in her arms crooks, her own bowing to meet it. She kept trying to whisper something to the child, it sounded like 'he's here, wake up,' but he couldn't be sure. He suddenly clicked, the child's father must be in the house too, but the Auror's hadn't called for him to see if another mans dead body would be a Death Eater or not. He cringed inwardly of what he would feel if he came home and found his love's body and child dead. _I'd kill myself_. He pulled himself together, counting the blessing that he didn't have to face that, that Hermione was here, alive and safe. He had no choice.

'Hermione, cease that wailing now. You are in danger and placing me in danger too. I have orders to get you back safely and that I will do.' He leaned down and pulled her arms open, then with infinite gentleness gathered the child in his arms and turned to the bed. He placed him on the tiny frame and pulled the covers over him, pausing for a moment to look at the child, he was practically perfect. His soft straight brown hair, his tiny straight nose, his thin lips and Severus nearly laughed as he saw the frown that had become his own trademark. For the first time in his life he longed for a child, a testimony to himself, an heir for the Snape name and someone to impart his knowledge on to. He brushed the soft hair of the child back from his forehead and smiled sadly, _he would have grown into a handsome man_. He placed the covers over the boy's head and turned back to Hermione. She was now stood, tears silently dripping down her face and running off her chin, a curious glint in her eyes as she watched him.

'They're dead.' She whimpered. He nodded and she moved to him. He wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to cry freely on him.

'Hermione, we must leave, the Death Eaters think you're dead, they've mistaken your friend for you.' She sobbed harder at the news. 'We must return to Hogwarts,' she didn't say anything, taking his wand out he disapparted them both back to the gates of Hogwarts.

* * *

'Severus,' Hermione managed before her legs lost their strength, suddenly she was encompassed in his arms, his body supporting her own. She breathed his name again; it felt so good to be in his arms, she didn't have to think about the scene behind her. He was saying her name, his lips pressed against her forehead, 'Hermione,' he was kissing her cheek, she felt her throat close at the sheer pleasure his lips were creating, she hadn't felt like this since the night Sam had been conceived. Suddenly guilt clutched at her and tears began to fall. He kissed those away, reverently chanting her name with each kiss, as if he could love away all the pain she felt.

She closed her eyes as he continued his rain of kisses on her, she turned her face to his, wanting his kiss to warm her body with passion, heal her dying heart, but just as his lips were to claim hers a sizzling sound came from behind. She spun in his arms; they were tight around her, still lending her his support. The message that had been shining in the room had changed, it had now become a personal notice to the man she still loved. She gasped and wanted to step back, but the lean hard body stopped her.

'Hermione,' he started, 'we have to go, we need to get you to Hogwarts where you will be safe.'

_Leave_! She thought horrified ripping herself from his arms; _this is my home, it is where Sam and I belong_. 'No,' she said shakily, 'I can't go. Sam and Monika…' she trailed off turning to look at the other figures on the floor. 'Sam,' she was crying again as she knelt beside him and gathered him to her. His body was cool and limp, she remembered how she had tucked him up in bed, how he had breathed as she had kissed his forehead. She kissed it now, hoping for the magic to bring him awake.

'He's just sleeping' she murmured against his soft hair, 'Daddy's here darling, you must wake, he's here, wake up, he's here.' She kept chanting, hope that the thought of finally seeing his father could revive her lost.

'Hermione,' came Severus' voice from behind her. 'We must go now, the Auror's are here, they will take care of everything.'

'No,' she shook her head, still clutching Sam to her chest, her head bent to his. She felt Severus' hands trying to gently remove her from her son. 'No, no, no, I can't leave him, no I won't. I can't.' He didn't understand, she couldn't just leave her son. _He'll wake up soon, and I need to be here, I'm always here when he wakes up_, 'and daddy's here too,' her voice barely a whisper against her son's ear as her throat constricted again.

'Hermione, cease that wailing now.' Came the harsh voice of the potions master she once knew. 'You are in danger and placing me in danger too. I have orders to get you back safely and that I will do.' He tore her arms apart and lifted her son from her. A cry of anguish escaped her lips as she felt her loss once more. She turned around, her knees splaying from her; she needed to see what he was doing. He was surrounded in darkness, however, she could see everything he did and it seemed almost as if time had slowed down.

He placed Sam on the bed carefully and brought the sheet over him, she wanted to cry out, but stopped as she watched him pause to look at his son's face. She watched, waiting for him to say something, to notice. She scrambled to her feet as she saw him stroke back the hair of the son he didn't know he'd had. She swallowed, would she ever tell him now. It seemed so cruel to have something so precious taken from you before you even knew it. If he knew, he would forget his promise to her; he had already done so tonight when he thought she was dead. She was glad that he was he, he gave her the strength she needed, but she was furious too. She had already lost her son and best friend this evening; she didn't want to lose her love too.

He turned to face her, 'They're dead.' She whimpered a sob escaped her lips again and she moved towards him. She needed his comfort, she needed his arms around her, and she needed to feel someone that she loved was still alive. She needed to know that life wasn't over for _her_, that there was something worth living and fighting for.

'Hermione, we must leave. The Death Eaters think you're dead, they've mistaken your friend for you.' _They thought Monika was me? They killed her thinking she was I?_ She hiccupped another sob. 'We must return to Hogwarts,' she couldn't say anything she just held him tighter.

* * *

Hogwarts Gates loomed in front of him. He went to step away from Hermione as he saw the images of Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Rebeus Hagrid and Poppy Pomfrey, however, he felt Hermione's legs give again as her eyes fluttered closed, and he scooped her into his arms. He strode through the gates where the Head and his entourage greeted him.

'She is alive?' Albus questioned as he hurried over to Severus, he nodded.

'Is she injured?' Poppy questioned trying to get at the beauty folded in his arms.

'No, she is alive and well, except for the shock she has received tonight she isn't injured.' He advised her.

'My my,' breathed a worried Minerva, by the looks of her she looked as though she had been wringing her hat all night. Said hat was perched on her head looking very worse for wear. 'Alive and unharmed, but I thought that they said she was dead?'

'I think she would be best taken to the infirmary, I need to check her over and whilst I'm doing that you can all interrogate our 'hero' here.' Poppy clucked as she tried desperately to get at her soon to be charge. Severus clutched the unconscious girl tighter the nearer she came.

Hagrid locked the gates again as the rest of the group silently made their way back to the castle, Poppy and Severus leading the way, the Medi-witch's gaze continually grazing Hermione's form, Albus and Minerva behind and Hagrid eventually bringing up the rear.

As they neared the infirmary Hermione began to stir, her eyes fluttered open and she dazedly looked at Severus. He swallowed hard and continued to stir straight ahead, he had already shown far too much to people tonight, his privacy gone, he couldn't afford to break right now.

She still couldn't believe that he had gotten her; she looked at his face appraisingly in the flickering light of the hallway torches. Four years had done little to him, however, that could be due to the termination of his spying. His raven hair was still long, his nose still crooked and his teeth still offset. His eyes where hard and resolute, he always showed such determination when he had made his mind up. She knew that as long as she had protested to leaving that night, he would have won regardless.

He entered the infirmary had strode past the bed that Poppy tried to lead him to. She would be placed furthest from any prying eyes. There was still a few months left before school finished and he would not have his Hermione gawped at and whispered about as if she was Harry-Bloody-Potter. He placed her gently onto the bed and was reminded of the child he had completed the same actions for earlier, he had been lucky that he had taken his professorship's oath;

'_I, Severus Snape, do hereby pledge that upon pain of death, I will cause no harm to Children, be they under my care or of the world. I will strive to teach them and tend to their well-being. I will neither inflict bodily harm or death to the children with malicious intent…_'

He couldn't remember it all, there were about three rolls of parchment that covered the oath, but that was the general gist. The Dark Lord knew about his oath and certainly didn't want to lose his Potions Master and so had forbade Severus to even attend raids where children where known to be.

She was still starring at him as he pulled her covers over her. Panic filled her as she thought of the same gesture made earlier that evening; she wasn't dead but alive and breathing! She kicked out against them, crying; 'but I'm alive, I'm alive.'

Severus pulled back as she started to kick at the sheets he was pulling over her. She was screaming and suddenly he realised that she too had been reminded of his actions. He bent to her, and stroked her hair back and brought his lips to her ear.

'I know, beloved, I know. Shush, its okay now, you are home at Hogwarts, shush, Hermione, shush, rest and sleep, tomorrow will be a new day.' He kept stroking her hair as he repeated his words until she whimpered and stilled beneath his hand. He continued to caress her hair a few times more after she was completely silent and the he rose to his full formidable height and nodded to Poppy who was wearily eyeing him from across the bed. She bent down and tipped a small cup of Dreamless Sleep Potion into the girl's mouth. Within a minute Hermione was peacefully sleeping. A few waves of Poppy's wand showed that the girl was physically fine.

'Severus,' came Albus' gentle voice from behind, 'we must talk about what happened.'

'When I got there, Hermione was alive, she tried to hex me, and I disarmed her. Here is her wand,' he produced her beautiful wand from his pocket. 'I then found the body of a girl, who resembled Miss Granger, dead on the landing. A child, presumably the dead girl's son, was also found dead in its room, the body of Lucius Malfoy lying next it. I didn't have time to determine the probably cause for his death, I doubt that Miss Granger killed him, although well within her rights to do so.' He took a breath; his eyes had never left Hermione. 'Shaklebolt and the other Auror's then arrived and I had a hard time getting Miss Granger to agree to return with me. It wasn't until I removed the boy from her arms and covered the body from her view was I able to get her to come here.'

Behind him Albus nodded. 'We should let her rest now, we can return in the morning.' He placed his hand on Severus' shoulder. Severus shook the contact from him, 'I will remain here.'

Poppy made sounds of distressed protest, but was silenced by the Headmaster. 'We will return in the morning then, please get some rest Severus, you will soon be needed.' He didn't say by whom, but just turned and hustled the ladies and Hagrid from the ward.

Severus collapsed in a chair finally exhausted. He hadn't had a night like this since he had been discovered by the Dark Lord. The adrenaline that had coursed through his body earlier was now leaving his system; he rubbed his hands over his face and then looked at Hermione's sleeping figure. He longed to do the same, but felt that it would never come. He nestled back in the chair he occupied and began to wonder…

A loud noise woke him with a start. He shook his head; he couldn't believe he had actually fallen asleep. He looked to see where the noise was coming from and what was making it. He realised that it was from outside the infirmary doors and that it was actually raised voices. Making his way quietly to the door, he eased it silently ajar and peered at the scene before him.

Arthur was stood in front of Albus, a look of sorrow and anger filled his face, Harry-why-is-he-always-sticking-his-friggin'-nose-in-Potter and his ever-loyal sidekick were stood at Arthur's side looking equally furious.

'…I can't believe you didn't offer her Order protection. I want to see her now!'

'I didn't know until she was gone.' The older wizard shook his head sadly. 'Mr Malfoy didn't see fit to inform me until we discovered Miss Grangers leave ourselves. He said that it was important that the Dark Lord assume she had fled, that she was never allowed to be tracked, less they find her. Harry,' he turned to the boy-who-was-a-pain-in-the-arse, Severus sneered, 'you know this already. Why are we causing such a fuss? If we're not quite we'll-'

'She had a child!' Arthur bellowed. Snape snapped to attention. _Hermione had a child? No, it was her friend's child, not Hermione's._ 'She sent me a letter to confirm that she had had it, Samuel-' Severus closed the door and cast a silencing charm over the room. He didn't want to know, he couldn't bear it.

He moved back to her bed and looked fondly upon her, sadness in his eyes. She had run away and found another, she had been happy; she had had a child with a man she loved. Now he understood her reaction to the child's body in its entirety. He sat down again and stared through the window above her bed. Sunlight was just creeping into the murky night. Somewhere in Liverpool a man was coming home to find his child dead in his bed, a friend murdered and his wife missing. His heart – which he thought had been dead – ached in his chest. _Does the guy know Hermione to be a witch? He will need to be brought here regardless, for his own safety, and for Hermione's,_ he gulped, _happiness_.

Poppy chose that moment to return to the infirmary.

'I have to come back,' she snapped at him as he stood up and turned to her. 'It's my job.' She looked at him, with her chin upturned expecting and ready for a fight. He just nodded and left without a word.

Poppy starred after him. That man was a complete puzzle to her.


End file.
